Silence..

It’s sometimes that my inside is spilling with thoughts..

It’s then I decide to keep calm , to keep quiet..

I decide to restrict my emotions..and so I choose silence over words..

..too under estimated almost everytime that silencing your thoughts not only protects your emotions from burnout but also helps you know your worth..

It’s then that “sometimes” supports me heal..

..at my own pace

..in my own way..🥀

illusions..

Sometimes we become so stubborn, so set on wanting to see something coming to existence..that we miss the reality of the situation..

We bury our heads in a cocoon of distortions..because making peace with reality and accepting the current situation would hurt so much..

So we sip on hope everytime we feel getting the taste of reality.. that may be just one more try, maybe just one more battle and the world will be yours..

and that’s how we keep ourselves drunk on mere dreams..and illusions..that have very few chances of materializing..into something tangible , something real..one day !

Calm in the chaos..!!💭🌊

May be that’s how it works..the LIFE..

It may be amazingly awesome one minute and may turn drastically awful the very next..

And in between these extremes it takes many faces.

It never go in a straight line , meandering and turning at the most unexpected moments..

Things may get messy and tangled.. paths may get twisted and turned..in many directions..

The right things happen at the wrong time..and the opportunities may get passed by..

It , the life, is a narrative of mistakes and missed chances..

You can will certain things into actions..but not being sure that if it will work out..

Inspite of having put your heart and soul into it..it may not always turn in your favour ..

And being royally knocked down over and over again..now have learnt to go with the flow…………. after having years spent fighting the storm to sail through in my course..and seeing it all failing and going in vain..all of my single of efforts ..

Have got this hard taught lesson that

Not making a move, is a move too.. not giving up regardless of the repeated failures..is brave too.. having a battling spirit inspite of all the adversity is..courageous too..

Many a times it happens that our life path splits..and the journey we thought we were going down takes off..veers off to some terrible direction that we never anticipated..and we certainly didn’t want..

It happened to me..

It was awful beyond imagining..and i have found myself in situation where the only thought that prevailed was ” there’s no coming back from this !!”

But those moments have made me realise..that even in the midst of not knowing what to do and where to turn..there exist ways to be through..

May be it’s amidst these.. undesirable circumstances. unfulfilled cravings.. unsatisfied longings.. uncorrected mistakes.. unanswered prayers..

that’s where LIFE actually exists..

As I write down it all..i recall a line from one of the songs..which aptly concludes it all

” पूरा हो के खत्म हुआ सब, जो है आधा , वो ही ज़िंदा है !!” 🌊

🍁

The recent death of a film actor has taken social media by storm.. Everyone’s just posting and saying things like they would be all ears for their friends and kins..they would stand by their friends in the hour of dismay..and all that but the thing to ponder about remains the same ..why do we pay heed to one’s call for support when its already too late..or do we wait for such incidents to happen to “wake up” !!?

The worst part is this all will again die down soon..and we will return to being our ignorant self..

It’s really insensitive on our part not being able to recognize and realise what a person is going through , even if he is trying to be vocal about his pain, suffering and exertion..

The sole reason of it being we don’t validate someone’s feelings unless we have experienced it ourselves..

Time and over we have been convinced and made to believe it’s all about sticking the smile to one’s face no matter what…thats how you would come across as a jovial person..

We have never been told that it’s okay to be not being able to look “okay”.. most of the time we just disregard them saying they are a crybaby..

Had we been told that it’s equally important to sometimes cry our heart out..shed it all..its humane to feel frail, feeble and fagile.. ,the picture today would have been different..

We would have been more accepting of other’s emotions….both in their strong and weak hours..

We live in so much of denial towards other’s feelings that if someone is being in the darkest hour of their lives..instead of being expressive about it..and reaching and seeking out for help..they consider it more aggreable to confide within themselves..bottling it up all within themselves..

And why is it all so..just because if they couraged to speak about their suffering..they would be termed ,”weak”.

But the fact being ..weakness lies in not accepting the reality.. Not being able to accept people the way they are..Making others feel guilty for the way they are and how they feel..because they can’t accept not only other’s..but even their own uncomfortable feelings..

People aren’t weak..But yes they can have weak moments..where they may feel helpless, hopeless,useless, irreparable and a liability on others..and that is okay..its okay to feel vulnerable ..No one chooses to feel sad..

Many amongst us would label them as cowards..but not once we question ourselves that if we were sensitive to their taumas, their sufferings in order for them to confide their fears and feelings to us.

So , if not embrace , then let us at least be more thoughtful of what we say and how we respond to other’s ways of life..One doesnt always need to cry to prove that they are not in a mental state of peace..

Even without a reason..be kinder..lets try to be more aware and accepting of the people around us..

Maybe someday we will be able to create a world where we can share our REAL feelings more often..and be who we REALLY are..✌️

Just.

We have constructed such a misleading concept of what is strong and what is weak..

Handling things on your own..without any help is something that defines you strong..But if you cannot you are weak..

Hence i doubted myself too..many a times..

I thought I was weak..unable to control her anxiety..unable to take charge of her life..unable to do and achieve what and all that she desires and needs..unable to achieve things in her life..Hence it impacted my self esteem adversely..

So I tried even harder to beat my anxiety by Being myself..just to prove this to myself that..I am strong..

However I realised it later..actually much later that there are things in life that are just out of our control. That we may not be able to change by ourselves….No matter how hard we try..No matter what we do..

So sometimes its okay to just let things be…while still hoping for the best..

Its okay to be vulnerable , its okay to show your problems..its okay to reveal your traumas..its okay to show your insecurities..its okay to show your fears ..its okay to be not okay..But at the same time accepting it too..

because they are what..that..actually made you..YOU !!

because these are the things that define..that”YOU ARE STRONG !!”🤍

Speechless..

One more of the tragic news amongst these times..what already seems to be never ending trail of traumatic events..like have never been much of a movie buff or die hard fan of any of the film stars..but still this news came as a shock..

“Sushant Singh Rajput found dead….” ..dont know why but since the moment have heard this news a upheaval of thoughts hasnt left my mind even for a second.. Like whenever anything of this sort happens..it always triggers to think about “what is it actually that matters in life”. There are people even today who are constantly burning mid night oil to reach to the point , at which he committed suicide ,after having all of it..every bit of it..

I have been continously juggling between the thoughts like if even after getting , earning all the lavishes of life , if he couldnt find the peace of mind..then WHAT IS IT that actually makes a person happy !??????

“Happiness”, many a times , talking to a number of people around me I experience that how gradually we have narrowed down our definition of happiness to the boundaries of materialistic things..like randomly any one can be found saying “i will be happy if i manage to get to this , or i will be happy if i can buy this.. or that.. or whatever stuff they eye on.” But what we tend to forget is that this “If” is never ending..and ever growing..our happiness finishes the second this “if” comes to our mind.. Though i agree riches or money ,indeed, is the basic need for survival but its not the ONLY thing needed for survival..

That’s what i kinda pity for the people who are saying he had a successful career , earned well..how can he be unhappy..as they are not able to find out the “justifiable excuses ” for his unhappiness..

Like how can they deny the fact that at the end of the day it isn’t the no.of bucks in our hands that count but the hands of loved ones we can count on..rely on..whatever be the circumstances..thats all and thats what actually matters..that is what is needed for the calm of the mind !

The ecstasy of the life lies in the little things..rustling of leaves..the shades of sky at dawn and dusk..the chirping of birds..the flow of wind..the way how sunlight bounces off the window..the sound of your favourite person’s laugh..the feeling when your love songs comes on..

But its not the people who should be blamed..i feel its the old age norms and definition that is to be held responsible for..which had associated the word Happiness with luxuries so adhesively that the two now seem to be inseparable..

But may be this is the high time we need to re – think and re- define before its too late !!!!!

I wish.. in a parallel universe, where no concept of money exists, peace of mind is credited as salaries for humans !!

Love..

Old faced love is hard to find these days.. People these days need fast love , and paced love.. , and love that takes selfies and love that sends snapchat stories..

Love that shows that love is there,

and love that seeks validation..

Love that confuses intimacy with touch and touch with intimacy..

I want a love that waits..

Love that reads and writes and stares in the eyes..

Love that holds hands and caresses palms..

Love that listens..

Love that realises that maybe love is not enough but it is worth holding onto anyway..

Love that is raw and vulnerable, and love that understands that on some days it will look like it has faded..but on those days, we just need to love a bit harder..

Love that grows old but not tired.. Love that loves. Love that stays !!

💜💜💜💜💜

“Efforts !!”.

In today’s fast lived life..everyone seem to be running towards something..be it money, fame or anything that matter to them..  And in this rat race kinda world everyone desire to be ahead of others by any means.. But i feel it ‘s not their fault..we have been always conditioned in a way that make us believe that if we dont score a good 100/100, we will be worthless, if we dont make it to a decent and five digited job we will be worthless..means at every walk of life we are measured by “NUMBERS”.. and slowly we get so immersed in all these numbers..that most of the time we tend to forget that it’s not always the result that counts but most importantly the “EFFORTS”..!!!!!!!

Its not always about getting to a renowed college or making it a reputed company..the height of our success are not solely based on these but the effort we put..In this fast paced world..many a times..i feel like we sometimes need to take a halt and think about the efforts..howsoever little or big..whether by you or anyone else..may be for making it big in your career or in a relationship..we have to learn the art of appreciating the efforts..it’s not always like if someone is trying to make it to somewhere in life , he or she may get it..but if we can inculcate a art of praising the sweat that he poured in while trying in to make it to somewhere….to make his dream come true..may be we can make his world a little happier..!!✌️